THE BYSTANDER

  Here is poem I received from someone I love; thought why not share it, at least with my Bengali readers.............................hope they will enjoy it. Through the jongole I am went, On shooting Tiger I am bent, Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife, No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life, Too much quiet, snakes and leeches, But I not fear these sons of beeches, Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start, But noise is coming from damn fool heart, Taking care not to be fright, I am clutching rifle with eye to sight, Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down, Then like hero return to native town, Then through trees I am espying one cave, I am telling self - 'Bannerjee be brave.' I am now proceeding with too much care, From far I smell this Tiger's lair, My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray, I think I will shoot Tiger some other day, Turning round I am going to flee, But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee, He bounding from cave like footbal...

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., - "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. , - "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., - "Who will be accountable for all of th...

Here goes a joke, that I received just a short while ago from my friend Arun; I think I share it with my readers; An Officer stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.. The driver instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When he gets done with writing the ticket, he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The Mountie says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an Ass..ole!" Two months later ...

This piece of joke I received now as I opened my mail box.Though why not to share it ! NEVER PLAY WITH WOMEN The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman: For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her! The man said, 'you can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife.’ The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' ...

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name? Bob And what is your question, Bob? I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden? Just then, the bell rings for recess. George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, Ok where were we? Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question? A different little boy raises his hand. George points him out and asked him what is your name? Steve And what is your question Steve? I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN? Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early? Fifth, where is Bob?

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?" Answer: "tea please" Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?" Answer : "Ceylon tea " Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?" Answer: "white" Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?" Answer: "With milk " Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk" Answer: "With cow milk please. Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?" Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. " Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?" Answer: "With sugar" Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?" Answer: "Cane sugar " Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?" Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead." Question: "Mineral water ...