THE BYSTANDER

This happened about a month ago near Lonavala.  A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the old road. The inevitable happened, when he reached the mountains. His car breaks down - he's stranded miles away from nowhere.  Having no choice, he started walking along the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainy. And pretty soon he got wet and started shivering. The night rolled on, and no car passed by.   Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows down and nearly stops next to him. Without waiting or thinking a bit , the guy opens the door and jumps into the rear of car which starts moving by then....  Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him. To his horror, he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!........   Even though there's no one in the front seat, and no s...

Here goes a joke, that I received just a short while ago from my friend Arun; I think I share it with my readers; An Officer stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.. The driver instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When he gets done with writing the ticket, he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The Mountie says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an Ass..ole!" Two months later ...

It was just few months after independence, of our country India'; The British were still there; however Indian were quite free to interact with them with the spirit of their freshly earned freedom. In a first class compartment of long distance train, a British and on Sarderji ( a Sikh, by faith, usually they are prominent with their turban) were traveling . The British was as usual in his grave composure, but the Sardarji was enthusiastic. He wanted to open some dialog with the fellow passenger. Thinking for a while, he just asked " what is your name, sir?" The British replied breaking his silence, Robert Bruke. Then he asked the Sardarji, " what is your name?'. The Sardar retorted, Kuldip Singh Dhilon. The surprised British asked, "Kuldip is your name, Dhilon is your surname, then what is Singh?" The Sardar replied " Jistara towda King, ustara sadda Singh !"

A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:- 1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks...

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. > > "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?" When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. > > A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. "Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep. > > The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny came to the rescue. Th...

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE BARA THEDA When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN MONICA LEWINSKY When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANI...

A lady was on a plane, arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest. She asked him, " Excuse me Father, could I ask you a favor ? " The priest replied, " Of course my child. What can I do for you ? " I have a small problem and wonder whether you could help. I bought myself a new sophisticated women's hair remover gadget, for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the cutoms duty declaration limits. As I do not have enough money to pay duty, I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock ? " The priest replied, " Of course I could, my child. But, you must realize that being a priest, I can not lie ! " The lady said, " You have such an honest face Father. I am sure they will not ask you any questions " So, she gave him the ' Hair remover ' gadget, which the priest put under his cassock. The aircraft arrived at its destin...